When I realized I had been enabling some destructive behaviors in someone I love, I did some deep soul-searching to figure out what was going on for me.

Instead of being clear about how I wanted to be treated, and respecting my own internal “no,” I kept “empathizing” with the other person’s point of view — even as they were speaking to me harshly and dismissively.

A part of me believed that if I just empathized enough, that their behavior would change, and when it didn’t, I remembered the important difference between empathizing and enabling.